still that negative emotions
right now,i am freezing, sitting right under the air con at the web
suppose to be studying but i have no mood for that and i think you must have guessed it, emotions are overtaking me. i know mrs lim, once said, do not let feelings conquer you. still working on that
right in paragraphs after some frens told me to do. hard to read, but now hard for me to type maybe because i write extremely long posts and have to enter enter enter all the time. buts its ok.....i will take that hardship.....
still not at the positive state of mind.....of future, studies, event problems and worse of all friends...old buddies....it just hurts me...making me think back of my olden days and the 'what if' thinking
i thought of the times i was admitted in the hospital, given the iv drip, or to be more exact, the times when the nurse couldn find any successful vein and me being poke around 5 times in the span of 5 minutes. right now, am thinking of lionel and his gruesome feeling of needle.....and again, i tot wat if i was in the hospital now, and having finals, which means i have to get out from hopsital to sit for my test and the iv drip has to be stopped. and when i get back, i am gonna suffer pain!!! actually i already experienced that when i had to go for xray and ultrasound. stop the iv drip, came back, continue the iv drip, but the channel was blocked because of the blood clot. and so the nurse had to none other inject heparin to clear the channel. and boy, that feeling of injection, the pressure just freaks me out NOW...geli nya....ok, over with this, before lionel if he reads, will kill me for writing in so much detail.
given this second chance, its a blessing. but i find it really hard.....harder than before. tougher than ever, mor challenges and problems to face and that inner strength is losing it and is weaker than ever.
you(1) told me to just forget bout everything and try to ignore it, just tahan tahan and tahan. live each day with wat you have and just try to leave the rest behind....cos eventually i am not the only one experiencing this and that you are too.....am trying ok?
you (2) told me that there are tonnes and tonnes of people who are in a much worse situation and are less fortunate. i know that but if that is always the thinking, it will never ever solve your troubles but rather giving an excuse for it to happen. welll, at least thats how i think
and lastly, you (3) told me to hang on, and just live each day to the fullest with wat you have. no will and strength is not the reason as the strength can be found within you and around you. your frens, is the source. this i have to say its true but wat if they are all gone??? family.....is very important.....
done with my post this time, and again, i must say, another moody post by me. moving on to the happy stuff....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GILBERT!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHU XIAN!!!
wish you all have fun on this very special occasion of yours.
and not to mention, i have a couple of songs stuck in my head....courtesy of joanne....and since i love some of the lyrics,i shall post them up for my future reference.....well, that only comes after my sam finals....and talking bout that, so unfair!!! most people finish next week..sob sob sob....
till then
suppose to be studying but i have no mood for that and i think you must have guessed it, emotions are overtaking me. i know mrs lim, once said, do not let feelings conquer you. still working on that
right in paragraphs after some frens told me to do. hard to read, but now hard for me to type maybe because i write extremely long posts and have to enter enter enter all the time. buts its ok.....i will take that hardship.....
still not at the positive state of mind.....of future, studies, event problems and worse of all friends...old buddies....it just hurts me...making me think back of my olden days and the 'what if' thinking
i thought of the times i was admitted in the hospital, given the iv drip, or to be more exact, the times when the nurse couldn find any successful vein and me being poke around 5 times in the span of 5 minutes. right now, am thinking of lionel and his gruesome feeling of needle.....and again, i tot wat if i was in the hospital now, and having finals, which means i have to get out from hopsital to sit for my test and the iv drip has to be stopped. and when i get back, i am gonna suffer pain!!! actually i already experienced that when i had to go for xray and ultrasound. stop the iv drip, came back, continue the iv drip, but the channel was blocked because of the blood clot. and so the nurse had to none other inject heparin to clear the channel. and boy, that feeling of injection, the pressure just freaks me out NOW...geli nya....ok, over with this, before lionel if he reads, will kill me for writing in so much detail.
given this second chance, its a blessing. but i find it really hard.....harder than before. tougher than ever, mor challenges and problems to face and that inner strength is losing it and is weaker than ever.
you(1) told me to just forget bout everything and try to ignore it, just tahan tahan and tahan. live each day with wat you have and just try to leave the rest behind....cos eventually i am not the only one experiencing this and that you are too.....am trying ok?
you (2) told me that there are tonnes and tonnes of people who are in a much worse situation and are less fortunate. i know that but if that is always the thinking, it will never ever solve your troubles but rather giving an excuse for it to happen. welll, at least thats how i think
and lastly, you (3) told me to hang on, and just live each day to the fullest with wat you have. no will and strength is not the reason as the strength can be found within you and around you. your frens, is the source. this i have to say its true but wat if they are all gone??? family.....is very important.....
done with my post this time, and again, i must say, another moody post by me. moving on to the happy stuff....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GILBERT!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHU XIAN!!!
wish you all have fun on this very special occasion of yours.
and not to mention, i have a couple of songs stuck in my head....courtesy of joanne....and since i love some of the lyrics,i shall post them up for my future reference.....well, that only comes after my sam finals....and talking bout that, so unfair!!! most people finish next week..sob sob sob....
till then
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