I will NEVER go out AGAIN (if i can)

today is sat, had add maths tuition. during tuition, the f4's were so noisy and we just couldn't concentrate. gave my auto book to kok ming to write yesterday but he forgotten. so he wrote it during tuition time. my goodness him, dahla come late, doing other work some more. what to do, he say very boring. then he passed the book to me, and shaun and dominic read it, and agin shaun say, walau why din ask me to write. so, basically that's add maths tuition today.
then 12.30pm went to mcd, out to meet sandra. was jam the whole way through town. lionel came with us and later chris met up with us. so during lunch, lionel made cheap jokes again as usual. and told us to solve some clues for the treasure hunt. went to parkson, helping sandra to loko for carol's present. and all in all, they couldn't make up their mind. after parkson, go tun jugah and then sarawak plaza. in the end, bought a shirt for her. so they put in a box and use ribbon to tie. and shocked! they box and ribbon prize was not worth the price. so, today went out, and i conclude myself not to go out again next time. rambang mata, so many things i want to buy, but what to do have to kawal diri. saw the necklace and squishy things at parkson. soooo cute. but tak sampai wan to buy. told sandra, history repeats...singapore trip and now still. so better dun go out. another thing i felt like buying and it was the thing that i was looking for but i din buy was a skirt. it was perfect for my size. but there was one left and i guess, that can wait since i am still in school, wearing uniform everyday. so the skirt can wait. ha....soooo in order not o disappoint myself, i concluded myself not to go out. why? if i dun go out, i wont see things and i wont feel like buying it. no guilty feelings. make sense right?
and oh ya, forgotten! met simon and brandon at tun jugah and simon said, wa lionel you ditched me! YOU also! refering to me. overall, both of us had the same purpose of going out, buy present.
star gazing for mine today made me change what i have thought for yesterday. " Your inner child may be starting to rebel. Oh, give in! It won't hurt, just this once. For the next bit, you'll have amazing energy when it comes to group situations. So when you're asked to take a leading role, don't surprised if you accept - and if you like it."
answers my problem faced yesterday? not sure, but it did change my point of view. so i will give it a try.
today, is officially the launching of my second blog. nth much. actually it contains the world history. will try to update it everyday so all of you can learn sth. (majority will not want to read it i guess) but feel like compiling the history facts. so the blog will be names "REFLECTIONS OF THE PAST" come and visit it if you want to know about what is going on in the past on a particular day.

FRI, SAT, SUN & MON REST!!!! ^_^

it's friday again...man time passes sooo damn fast. anyway, it's FRIDAY, end of the week, and that means beginning of weekend.....yahoo...monday holiday some more. get to rest, actually not, still got test and lotsa work. but still can sleep late late. thanks to cikgu kenny, our chem test is postpone?/cancelled? . which leaves only bio test on friday and oral english. so tomorrow, saturday supposed to have prefect telematch but postponed to next week. wil be going to tuition and then out. sunday, carol's party and monday public holiday for labour day. YES!!!!
today, watch movie and then sejarah, got study group. me one of the leaders. sucks cos i KNOW i am NOT a GOOD leader after the leadership training thing and proven also when nobody wants to be in my group. am disappointed thoug. so made up my mind, MAY QUIT as a leader of sejarah group AND also as vice-p for ST JOHN, since i really suck.
nothing much happen. but actually there is quite a lot. just that i am not good in writing and forgot most of the events. so remember to read lionel's blog for more detailed stuff that is going on. dun feel like peras otak to recall what happen in school. all i know i dislike the study grp idea as i dun think i can handle it.
anyway i will have another blog that is gonna be a historical one. i mean i will be posting up real facts that has happened in the past, as in, history. feel like compiling all the history facts since there's a free resource although i know i am suppose to concentrate on my studies.
haven think about the site's name but i will put it at the link. bye
so, upcoming important things to remember:
- unsw science test (4/5 wed)
- english oral (5/5 thurs)
- bio test hormone (6/5 fri)
- telematch (7/5 sat)
- MOTHER's day (8/5 sun)
-MY BIRTHDAY (9/5 mon)

lalalalalalalalal

yesterday, monday, was an occasional holiday for our school due to our sports day on Sunday. my frens decided to play badminton at sarawak club 9.30am. but i din go. had slight fever and cold on sunday nite plus too much work piling up waiting for me to get it done. so i did my overdue work, but still couldn't get everything done. by nite, i haven done by eng oral, lit and study my chem. in addition to that, STUDY for SPM.
forgotten to say bout sunday nite. no tru calling but apprentice 2 finale. started at ten. obvious to me that kelly is the winner. but when it was the reuion time, feel kinda bad for jen as everyone who regis interviewed said kelly is the apprentice. nevertheless, she did actually perform well in the final boardroom. so kelly won, and they managed to show the contender trailer. sooooo cool, i haven watched that yet. so moving on to last night's contender, it was a two hour show. shouldn't watch actually as got chem test but couldn't resist after i found out that my fav boxer, sergio will be fighting and that stinking ahmed too. so as usual, i have to say contender, a great show. a reality series that really touches ppl's heart. sergio won over ishe smith and yes. alfonso won over ahmed who now lost twice. needless to say, the competition is getting tougher as joey, the eight time winner seven by knockout really plays the game mentally. like what sergio did in his fight with ishe smith, it's all in your mind. sergio managed to use ishe's strength to his weakness. and joey now plays the game, mental game as clearly explained by sergio with the book. wanna read that book.
so, today back to school. felt tired and my frens said i looked very sick. had bio, learn about hormone in plants. again we all said WHY MUST WE LEARN PLANTS!!!! and then bm, sabor literature. then break, then physics, which i din attend for the next 2 hours of class. went to sick bay to rest. lunch, went back to class and had prefect meeting about the telematch. postponed to next saturday. drats, i was thinking as saturday 7th may, the day my family celebrate my birthday and mother's day. but i guess it is much better than having to attend add maths tuition that morning. furthermore, i can watch contender marathon this sat for 4 hours. YES!!! after lunch was ADD MATHS> ok, mrs.ngu started scolding us on how new sitting arrangement. she say it's not good and all the bad stuff. well, acually, i don blame her. preferred my own seat as got more space and privacy. but no offence though. since the class wanted a new sitting plan. again, i think whats the point on sitting the new place and making all the teachers having a sour face and then start scolding us. so ques to ponder. oh yes, i forgot. physics peka tomorrow. and thanks to cikgu kenny, our chem is postponed to thursday. tomorrow go lab. yes, at least i have time to do my other work. and thanks to miss teo, oral is next week.
better do my hwk now. adios
wait, no st john today as teacher is absent. forgotten bout one more lesson.

LESSON 4: CLEANING A WOUND
what you need is kidney shape container, two tweezers, dettol and clean water and cotton wool
Step 1: mix dettol and water in the ratio 1:3 into the kindey shaped container
Step 2: using tweezers and NOT YOUR HAND, get a lump of cotton wool and dip into the mixture
Step 3: squeeze excess mixture of the cotton wool again NOT USING YOUR OTHER HAND, but using another tweezers.
basically, you hold thecottonwool with a tweezer on your right and another tweezer on the left to squeeze excess mixture
Step 4: clean the wound, INSIDE OUT and NOT INSIDE IN. why? logic la, dirt on the outside if clean outside in, you are bringing dirt in. duh....
Step 5: don reuse the cotton wool, as in, after cleaning the wound, dun dip into dettol AGAIN as the dettol is used for antiseptic will become a virus agent if you dip the used cotton wool again. SO, take another lump of cotton wool and repeat the whole process again
Step 6: once cleaned, put some antiseptic or other suitable treatment depening on the cut.
basically, not serious - use cotton bud and apply some antiseptic cream or yellow solution
serious - but bandage gauze and tape it with not plaster but the what you call that thing......the tape
* never SAYANG the things as in dun BERJIMAT CERMAT refering to the dettol mixture, throw away after use and also the cooton wool
* wash the cut/wound if it is really really dirty before cleaning it
*remember to clean INDISE OUT and not vice versa

Sport's Day - A Wonderful Experience & Complaints AGAIN

Slept quite late last night after a long chat. then, this morning had to get up early for sport's day. in charge of st john. arriving at jubilee ground, had our patient, MY FIRST patient which was my big brother, our head boy, Shih yang who had a cut on the finger. i cleaned the cut and put plaster. that's my first patient. as time passes, started getting bored as nothing happens. and forgotten to tell you that, six st john ppl came from smk pending. and boy, i have to admit that we know nothing. as the sun begins to rise and when the sport's day is really heating up......that's when we are on call. i mean accidents starts to happen. ppl got blisters, cramps n muscle pain. handling them, trasporting from the track back to the camp and taking care of them was such an experience for me. i mean all this while, i have been on the grand stand handling the athletes and never knew the behind the scene of sport's day. really, one by one starts having pain and all that kind of stuff. after running, they either too tired or sprains or cuts and everything. and as first-aiders we have to help them. well, of course, i can only help in fanning them and cleaning wound and what else, treating their cramps but beyond that, let the experienced one do it. then, the day was from ok to hot sunny and then vroom, rain. it was nearly the end of the sport's day and it rain. and that's like the last few events when we are on alert. i mean accidents occur at the last few events. raining somemore. and i just thought of myself that i am not suppose to go under the rain after last years pneumonia nd after cikgu leong and jeffery wee told me that i can get it again. but i have to be standby helping the athletes right? how can i just chicken out myself just because of the rain. don tell me i save myself and dun care bout the rest??? so, i was under the rain and at the same time helping some of them. soaking wet, and dirty but i am satisfied. i mean i did helped them. it was tiring. so that was the end. blue got second. congrats to red who won. then i dun know the results cos too busy doing st john.
again, reflective mood, as of today's experience, i dunno if my hard work of helping the athletes and being in st john, anyone appreciates it. maybe they think i am toooooo busybody.
and also, i do the job, others get credit(not refering to this). i am not sure about all this you know. plus, when i get home, i was soo happy to be helping out today and wanted to share my ecperience with my parents but what do i get, scoldings from them and sour faces. really dunno what they are thinking. theycertainly DO NOT KNOW what i want,how i feel. i mean i can see other parents giving support to their children during sports day but for me, it's the opposite.
but overall, it was still a wonderful experience. and what matters is, i am HAPPY to HELP them. too bad, i join it late. however, i definietly am looking for this kind of situation.
have to go now, going out for dinner. oh yes, went home and what do i get scoldings from my parents - sth to ponder for me. then go to imu talk and now back here, blogging and goign out for dinner.
incidents that occur during sport's day
- benjamin sim who called me a shorty vomitted
- international korean had really bad cramps
- worse weather for sports day (hot and then cold)
- a lot of blisters incidents
- a lot of tiring incidents
- last but not least, gone under the rain after pneumonia = hopefully i dun get fever and pneumonia AGAIN

headACHE.....

it's friday, last day of the week. how i wish today would be a holiday then we all then have to go to school for one miserable day and then weekend again. yesterday, holiday, suppose to start studying for test and also for spm and cant. woke up late and late noon, edine messaged me asking me to go to sarawak club and play badminton. but i turned it down. why? found out that i have homework todo. and test add maths, i just started studying late afternoon. of course, i watched by amazing race and csi. and at night i skipped lost. amazing race, gays wents out, lynn and alex and uchenna and joyce got first after joyce had to shave off her hair for the fast forward.csi is just getting nicer and nicer every episode. too bad the team was split up and got new sofia, dun like her.
anyway, today.........was smooth until my headache strike after stella went home cause of the same thing. morning, est first two lessons but we din watch movie and had to do comparative writing. then history got open book test. maths and bm and moral and then, bio had to copy the endocrine system which is when by annoying stupid headache strike. part of migraine actually since the effect was not only throbbing headache but also hurting eyes, where my eyes hurt like crazy during the whole bio lesson. it was just too bright and that was part of the cause of my headache. and guess what got add maths after that. ok, dahla my add maths not so good, with the stupid headache definitely i cannot perform well in this test. but, of course, i had to sit for it, don tell me i escape class. but, as the test was over, not only my headache did not recover but i guess i am going to fail my test since it's sooooo hard and i cant concentrate much. sooo dead la......so the minute i went home, had a little break and then went to sleep until dinner and here i am now writing my grudge of the day. why must i get headache just now....cant i get it now.
so.....since my add maths results will definitely be terrible, i guess i have to pray that my headache won't strike back during the upcoming chem and bm and bio test. got to giddy up. and yes i forgotten, we change our seats. seating arrangement is different. no more seating one by one but three by three. sit next to stella and beside him his bernie. and on my left is lionel and shaun and lik hui. in front of them is kevin, shih yang and jason. practically i am separated from my brothers and the two j's. but still sitting quite close. my new place....i dunno whether good or not, since got headache on the first day i sat there and the place is sooooo hot. maybe used to sit under the fan last time. better stop now, before i start blabbering again and again. before that, just a reminder for myself:
- chemistry chapter 2 form 5 test on WED
- BM krgn and novel on FRI
- BIO chapter 3 soon (hopefully not on my birthday since my birthday on monday is the first week after two consecutively monday holidays)

School, Badminton.....rest and report card

School today started off with grueling add maths but it turned out to be find when she let us move our desks together. therefore, at the end of the day, our class became jigsaw puzzle with desks everywhere and very hard to walk about. as i have read lionel's post yesterday, he said i was angry at him for no reason. actually there is a reason, he annoys me during bm time. getting my book and throwing it back to me when he knows i am frustrated at that time. so lionel......i want to make it clear here. get it? after reading lionel's blog, i found out that he is sooo open, writing what he thinks and i am not sure if i can spill everything out like him.
i guess i wll try. ok today at school, i just found out that i am a person who must have planning. i mean i can't do things last minute and i guess there's a good and bad for this. bad thing, i can't cooperate with ppl who are last minute. not to say they sucks but i guess the problem is on me. eg. sports day - first aid. ah...maybe everyone thinks big deal......ok then, my fault and i should blame the president/my big brother and i am a lousy vp. haven told him but i guess i will just take it. chaotic sunday morning, not my fault as i suggest to plan ahead.
cut that crap, i am being paranoid......ppl ignoring me....or maybe i am just toooooo annoying and insulting......i dunno....you tell me
forgotten to tell you..........repost cards day. got our report cards back. sucks. have to study hard but i am not sure. maybe have to go back to my old method of studying.....watch tv and study. can gain higher marks as i have observed. and have to get rid of my sickness. ...... CARELESSNESS.
just came back from badminton. sweatiest i have ever been. stella teached me how to play correctly. serve far and high and low and long. feel bad cause always borrow her racquet. sorry stella. will get one soon and as i found out, after playing mith kevin......having high shots is not affected by the height and boy when we played one time, it was very fun where it was never ending. ok then.

FIRST AID I

LESSON ONE : Transporting A Patient - Emergency Stretcher
So, in case you are on duty or not, and you see someone needs help, to be brought to the first aid station or to a shady area , you should place the person in the stretcher. BUT.....WHAT IF.... You DON have a stretcher or it's lying somewhere???? You won't have time to wait for someone to pass you the stretcher and then carry the injured/half-conscious/faint person for first aid!!!! SO....Alternatively you will need carry the injured person all by your strength and with the help of your partner of course. This is known as emergency stretcher ...(officially...Not sure...But that's what I called)
You will need a partner to help have the emergency stretcher, preferably nearly having the same height. Then,
Step 1: Place your left hand on your right arm. So does you partner.
Step 2: You and your partner stand face to face and then place each others right hand on the left of your partner. What you should get is a square/rectangular space in the middle of you and your partners hands
Step 3: The injured person will be placed on the space you have just made. In other words, the injured person is sitting on you and your fren's hands. The arms of the injured person must be placed on you and your fren's neck to prevent him/her from falling.
Step 4: When everything is done, you and your friend must get ready and carry the patient to the destined place.
* Never walk and stop and take a deep breath and then walk again!!!*
Why?
- you will be more tired when you stop and then walk again. So, once you are carrying the patient, make sure you carry them until the destined place then take your time to catch a breath.
- imagine if you stop, rest then walk for five times, what happen to the patient??????(faint)


LESSON TWO : Too HOT/Heat Stroke? - Triangular Cloth
Sometimes, a person may get too hot especially in the case when they participate in any outdoor sports. So, you have to cool them down and what you need is a triangular cloth. By the name of it, you know it is triangle in shape and you will need a partner to help you out.
Step 1: You, being the stronger one will hold two end of the triangular cloth. Twist your fingers at the end of the cloth to have a stronger grip
Step 2 : Your partner will hold the remaining end of the cloth. Then, both must pull the cloth.
Step 3 : Then, your partner will stay still while pulling the cloth and at the same time you will fan the patient at one end of the cloth. In other words, your right hand is moving/ fanning while your left hand and your partner will pull the cloth to ensure a surface tension on the cloth so that there is maximum wind produced.
* cooperating is very important. Both must work together.
* Person fanning must fan as hard as you can or put some force or else if you don, there's not much wind produced. SO what's the point!!

LESSON THREE : Bandage
OK, bandage, there are a lot of ways to bandage. We were taught half way on bandage so.....I just wrte what we have just learnt today. Name of the bandage.... dunno yet. All I know, is that this bandage is suitable for bandage the hand. What we learn is to tie the cloth to bandage.
Step 1: Grab hold two end of the cloth at the left and right of your hands
Step 2: the right end of the cloth is tied to the left and again. (Make sure your left end of the cloth stays still,. Just mover your right end of cloth/ tie it to the left)
Step 3 : once tieing two times, pull it hard and then hold the right end of the cloth and the knot and then pull the left end of the cloth to release it.
* practice makes perfect for this one
* you can start with the left tieing to the right. which means at the end, you pull the right. In short, you pull th one that is still at the beginning.

I hope you can understand what i have written. if not then, call me, i will be right beside you to give the first aid. till then.
AND...HAPPY birthday SHIH yang.!!!

Tired....'' o ''

Today, i should conclude myself that it's is such a tiring day. having biology in the first two periods, where we learn the endocrine system and all sorts of hormones, is enough to blow our heads up. then, bm and after break, two boring lessons of physics. english was ok where we learn facial expression and then lunch we prefects had a meeting. however, the day has come to its most low time when we had two lessons of add maths. learning vectors which for me is very boring, half of the class is nearly dead. soooo quite. it was 2pm and teacher gave us work. i personally thought she was going to stop but noooooo...she went on teaching and sitting at back, i notice most of them have had their heads on the table already. then break and then maths with chem. day is finally over. but not for me, st johns
ok, this sunday sports day. standby for st johns inc ase got any injuries. so beginning of the meeting, sooo little ppl. then ppl start coming in. and we finally started to learn. YEH!!! me sooo happy cos i always wanted to learn the proper first aid. so from now onwards, i will be posting the teachings i learnt from st johns. be sure to remember them, good for your own first aid knowledge. sorry, am too excited. i just loveeeeee first aid and bandaging and all that kind of stuff

test AGAIN

Thinking that exams has just passed, we all thought that this weekend, we could all relax and rest our minds, getting rid of the test buzz that blocks our mind the pass few weeks. unfortunately, happy on friday morning, everything is over as the last two lessons we had, tests next week. my goodness....can't we have a break.......monday bio test, mitosis and meiosis and friday.....add maths test.....nooooooo.. oh boy, homework is piling, tonnes and tonnes of hwk is waiting in line for me to work on.ok, yesterday, day off, surprise birthday party for my big brother, shih yang. so today is a working day. and guess what, i woke up late and here i am now writing my blog. but i guess think on the bright side, holidays next week.
forgotten to say that wednesday, i went for badminton with lik, pf, stella, che wee, gilbert, simon, jason, ronald, albert, jackson and kevin. and after that i become a paralysed lady. aches everywhere and worse of all, blister on my finger. still hurting right now and please please, let it heal by this tuesday, wanna play again on wed since thurs is a holiday. yah! next sunday, sports day, not running but will be in charge for st john. after that at 3pm got imu talk. wanna go but see whether got frens go or not. till then.

exams over

i just thought of my blog suddenly!!! it's a long time i post anything
well, i know my blog is kinda useless - that's what i feel like right now. very boring and i thought of stopping it. but as i thought over again, i might as well just use this as my diary or a journal i should say. write how i feel, and my daily challenges and sufferings that i have to go through each day so that next time, when i read back i know what's going on with me when i am 16++.
so exam is finally over and i guess i did terrible for all. physics is disappointing, i guess i took it forgranted even ii i knew the answer. careless was the other problem for me but what is the main issue is i guess what mrs, ngu said to me WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!! before i come to that, i have to say, i really really am different. different person. or maybe i should just go back to the persoalan, what is wrong with me. exams results proved that i am a different. person. i dunno why i did terrible despite of studying until half dead. why is it that everytime when it is exam, i am sooooo careless and bad. i feel stupid, useless and paralysed. i am good for nothing. what is really wrong with me. in terms of studies, i really disappoint myself in english, sejarah and add maths plus maths. careless is the main problem. if it is not i circle wrongly is i read or copied the question wrongly. but what is worse if physics and english. english,,....i really am deteriorating recently. sooo terrible. i know my english is not good. and i really don wan to accept the fact that just becoz i am indonesian, my english is not good. as i have seen for the past few years, indon never get a1 in spm and i really don want to use being indon as an excuse. but i guess i have to accept that fact now. it has become a reality. i really dunno what else i can do. maybe i should study english at all, but what's worse is i am half way thru the road. how am i suppose to face the world with such lousy english. how am i suppose to make it thru college and uni or even the outside world with such poor english. i really don know what to.
physics, is a disappointment this time, i really studied hard and am expecting good results. i know i always get c the past tests but i am hoping the mark will improve not to a but to a b at least. but it won't come true anymore. again i do not want to believe that i can nevery excell in physics. others can, why can't i. ok, maybe take this as a lesson. don't give up. do properly in the exam, dont overlook anything or everything, take each question seriously but it is hard for me to do this.
i just don't have that courage and spirit anymore. i have let myself down and everyone too. i feel ashamed for disappointing my teachers who have taught me so hard but got nothing in my head. i feel stupid for not gaining good grades. maybe life is not about acheiving good grades but what you know. the problem for me is now is that how am suppose to continue learning even if don't gain good grades for such basic stuff.
i am really exhausted, in studying , and i know my frens who advice, counselled me said take this as a lesson. try harder next time. but i have tried hard enough and nevertheless, i should say this is the hardest that i have tried and what do i get, terrible results. what's wrong with me!!! i need to find the answer. what's more important is to gain the confidence and the spirit to fight back. i know this whole post is stupid, stating my problems and then, giving my own solution. but that's what i am thinking right now. not to say that these are all what my frens said, i know this is what i am suppose to do. but it's hard. i know i am just making excuses and never want to try
as i have said i am exhausted. i don wan to think anymore. i feel useless at the moment. i have had high hopes and dreams for myself. but unfortunately, my family does not give me that support. they feel that i know what is best. they think i am tough but unfortunately, i feel weak, timid and down. i really need the strength but dunno where to find it. i am tired of all this. but i know there is someone or some place that i can turn to when i am down. my frens. so i really thank all my frens, kevin, edine, elsie, phey feng, stella, shih yang, zhi yuan and elsie for supporting me all this while. the only way for me to rejoice i should say is believe inyourself. take this time's challenges as a lesson. never repeat my mistakes again and have confidence
nevertheless, the lradership training yesterday did sedarkan me, my frens still believe in me, thank you to my group members and shih yang and kevin of course for commenting me bout the speech.
so, before i end this , to sherly in the future,
- excellence, is not about being the best but doing your bext (thanks elsie)
- have faith in yourself
- life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is
but, the way you cope with it is what make the difference!!!!
- trust the people around you and believe in them that they want the best for you
i think others who read this might think i am crazy, talking to myself and then, giving support to myself, you might i have mental problem , but i guess, i really am going insane soon if i continue to run away from my problems and therefore, the only way i should solve my matter is confront myself and don run away from my problems. comments or any guidance for me please leave comments for me.