Loving You Just Seems So Hard

I hate you, but i love you
Without love, there will be no hate

Why is it so hard, for me to love you
no
Why is it so hard, for you to accept my love
Why is it so hard, for you to understand me
Why is it so hard, for you to understand
that i do truly love you

You may not realise it, but if only you knew
I wonder, will things be different then
how you are gonna treat me
how you are gonna think of me
Have you ever tot who I truly am
no longer a childish lil girl
but one who thinks for herself and others
caring for your well-being

Have you ever tot wat i am doing
is all for you
I came back for you
to be with you
to share my love for you
as i know that time is running out

But my return
may be it was a mistake
as we always end up in a mess
harsh words are being said
painful acts being done

You blame me
while I blame myself
for being different from the elders
for not being who you wanted me to be
though i try every single day
with all my hard and all my soul
but still fail
I dunno who to turn to
apart from HIM

Every lil thing that you said
hurts me, breaks me
giving way for my tears
to roll down my cheeks

I know about that statement
That was mentioned
many years ago
when I was young
Four white and one black??
You may not know that I knew

I knew it alrite
And have always kept it
in my heart, my mind
And I knew from that very day
that I was different
that I can never be the same like you
that I will be always against you
And that I can never share my love with you
even as much as I want to

Theres so much I wanna say
Theres so much I wan you to know
But it just cant be done
Because of our differences
I wonder whether you will ever know
all this, wat I am thinking
And that I love you so very much
And that I din mean to hurt you
Because no matter wat happenes
I will always LOVE YOU
P n M
But it just SEEMS SO HARD

Friends vs Companion vs NONE

Frens? Companion?

It is easy to find frens, but hard to find companion.

You may have many frens, but not a single companion.

Could life be worth living then?

Which one are YOU?

Fren?

Companion?

or NONE?

(HISTORY)
You made me feel strong, when i was weak.
You made me feel wanted, when i was lonely.
You made me feel safe, when i felt insecure.
But most important of all,
You made me feel special and loved,
when i tot i was not worth living.

(PRESENT - Question)
How could i not realised then,
wat you have done to me;
wat you have said to me;
how i felt about you.

(Truth)
If only you knew.
If only my heart could speak.
If only i had the courage,
to let you know that,
you're the one i seek;

(Endless Hope)
And that things will be different,
before, now and after.

(Confession)
Its not your fault, i must say.
You gave me the hints,
made the first move.
But it was I,
who was blinded then;
blinded over things
i tot was worth more to deal with,
till i overlooked at you,
making you an outcast in life.

(Regret)
Reading thru my book of life,
many have i done wrong in your chapter.
I was not observant,
with your actions.
I was not connecting,
with your words.
And worse of all,
I was not thinking between your lines.
I have failed to complete the pieces of your puzzle;

(Realisation)
until now,
when i saw the whole picture,
the unforgettable stories and memories,
that was marked, engraved in your chapter of my book.
It's too late now,
as we are both in 2 different world,
chasing our dreams,
changing as time goes by.
There's no one to blame,
except for me, myself and i.

(NOW & 4EVER)
I caused you to end
my chapter in your book of life.
It's a point of no return.
Praying for the best for you
is the only thing i can do now.
I just wonder how its gonna be like
when you knew all this
and that I miss you
every minute, every second
my one.