less than a week

i wiill be going back to kuching....headache packing all my stuff, i guess everybody is facing that. but amy, sure packs fast, i guess its because i am just too sayang to throw my books and notes away and still wanna keep most of my stuff. a week plus after sam, my visa problem for ending taylors is settleed and when my dad founds out i have no more classes, he was like WAT ARE YOU DOING THERE!!! come back la!!! oh well, so i mite be going back earlier than wat i have arranged. and a week, tot can lenggang lenggok pack my stuff, sleep and enjoy, mana tahu got so many stuff to do. PACKING, sorting out books for juniors, lucky them man, got us seniors to sort books for them. and then sleep, well, haven get that much yet. enjoy, well, really time passes so fast and everyboody is leaving. my classmates are all leaving soon. three went home already, left my miri fren, alvin, who really just wanna kek me by leaving two days earlier. gonna be off to town tomorrow and sat. sunday back. and continue clearing up stuff

for those who loves theatre, theres a teater klasik showing tomorrow and saturday at ASK, or now change to ASWARA. show is 3pm and 8.30pm and tickets are on sale at the door.

and i almost forgot, today is the 30th NOVEMBER....CINTA priemering......TODAY. i so wanna watch but WHEN???

tomorrow helping lizamey in pc fair. hopefully sat can go watch CINTA. yesterday, jac, lizamay and i went to help sort clothes for the refugees and after lunch went to ss 12 help make the lifeline 2006 picture frame and later will be going again. till then.....now i dun wanna go back so early cos i am gonna miss my frens sooo much

accounts, prom, pangkor and back to subang

first and foremost, so sorry to my dear old buddy....stay strong ok? we, frens are always by your side. take care. your whole family needs you.

back to where i belong.....i am soo late of my posts....i mean i haven been blogging since day after days after day i have soooo many plans. and so, since i oficially finished my sam...i have plenty of time to blog!!! well, NOT...still got some work. so for this time, am just leaving a short message. will post more from the continuation of my previous post. with the title, in order.....definitely, its gonna be lengthy so if you dun have time dun bother reading it. PLUS pictures, yes yes, i know, i am so lack of that. was tooo busy to post any pix. dun worry i willsoon. going back next week, wed 6th, so kuching people, hope to meet you soon. after accounts, went out, next day, prom, stayed at my frens place, next day again was PANGKOR, yes i have decided to go there, and indeed no regrets....and EDINE, i DIN go genting fyi, so not ALL SAM students went genting eventually...back on sunday nite, and here i am in subang. need to pack and still got PHENOMENON, hopefully it works out. and yea, lone long break.

freezing cold, i want to go back home to pack all my stuff plus sorting of my books to sell. the thhing is, its raining....lbut i got UMBRELLA this time. so till then. later going gombak, with jo.

Guess WHERE am I??

well, i am at sue ann's house, with huey ying. gonna stay overnite here. tomorrow nite? well, see first, hopefully my visa thing runs smoothly and then i will stay over again another nite. depends la. came here with one purpose, STUDY ACCOUNTS!! yup , yup, and i must say well, not that productive yet since we stop and talked for a lil while, or should i say i was the one who talk the most. just had dinner. and yea, blogging while huey ying is bathing. came over aroundtwo plus after church and then sleep over while cos i was just too sleepy after brunch.

yup, so back to thursday, woke up late like around 11, cos got message from sue ann and me, yuan liang, huey ying, ying hui, shu xian and yih jing wen to one utama, using the free bus ride that takes college students to one utama. and apparently most taylors students are on the bus. but before that, where is SUE ANN!!!call her, message her also tak jawab, then there she comes running from my place while we were waiting taylors guardhouse. so off we went at one pm and reach there around 2pm. shop shop shop until 7pm take the bus home again and reach subang around 8pm. kacau alvin again, me and huey ying went to try our attires....wat else, and yea, kacau alvin even more. then went to makan dinner....or rather supper and came back around eleven.

so friday, HAVETO STUDY. but then,....end up waking up late and was just tooo lazy to start studying...play spider solitaire, which amy thinks i am really wu liao to play that game but i dun mind . actually i was kinda waiting for the wireless but the person never came on. so yea, stuyd and play and then around one/two, joanne say, i am not going to watch movie tonite, cos her parents are in town and so she is going down to stay with them. so i alone?? and i was like do i have to go and she of course, or else i cancel ticket myself...and ok la....and i must say i am SOOO glad i went...watched accepted. my comments is just ok the movie but since i just after exam, ok la, no other comments although its is mostly nonsense. then after movie, as usual, fellowship go mamak, makan what chess baan?? dunno la, cheese roti canai, sth like that and was like damn full. joseph sent me back and by then was like mid nite one?? i cant remember.

so SATURDAY, want to study sudy study but end up also waking up late. oh well, and then theres today.where jo and jac not here so i had to arrange transport to church but surprisingly no one came....oh boy, is it because of me???? hani them all din come so only needed aunty helens and joyce help. poor poor lawrence came and had no one to pick up. it was father albert in charge today and after tat, makan at kwai sun 2 where besides us ss15, sunway gang also came. yup. and now i am here in sue ann house.

adios from me now. and i still haven decided where to go after my exams!!!

of one utama, movies and STUDIES....later

well, well, wanted to write bout one utama on thurs and last nites movies with my church frens plus the need to study accounts. but now suddenly no mood. i mean, i think i am worried bout my accounts seeing that i have been out non stop and haven really studied with less than 3 daysleft. so i guess that stories will just have to wait.....

maybe tonite... wait, i guess i have mistaken....the movie CINTA is premiering on th 30th november. sorry, my wrong, SIS, you were right...no wonder the website i visit got nothing one at first...now got the synopsis for each part. hehe...cant wait to watch but one problem....who to watch with, seeing that is a non english movie......

after chem...nite...and frens

chemistry was over yesterday and most sam students have finished. left those who are taking accounts like me and spec maths, which is held tomorrow. how was chem? well, lets just say i know am gonna lose lotsa marks since i din do the last essay part and two parts of the last question. thats it. but no regrest for me, cos i know i tried my best and i was shivering already by the thrid hour the paper since my classroom was freezing. not to mention it was rainging very heavily. ok done with chem. i just have one more paper to go and yea, for the rest who finish...go have fun first then.

after chem, me and sue ann actually pakat to go get free trial pack for contact lenses since we dun wear it very often, or rather i am not gonna wear it. just to try. but it was raining so heavily and then she had to follow jason home, so din manage to get it. BUT planned to go ONE UTAMA the next day, that is TODAY. yes, so those sam students who say they finish and can have, we accounts students too are gonna have fun. its just a matter of time management. sue ann and jason left, and yih jing the gang plus yuan liang the gang went to red box at sunway. left me and shu xian. din wanna go, start save money and also tot amy them going at nite. mana tahu din go sunway. screw it then.

so me and shu xian went to pay mr. ho the money and then tried to ask for the trial pack near burger king that row. they dun have...apa la, no more than dun put the signboard la...anyway found out that burger king need people. so i told shu xian that parade actually got one more and that that palce also wanna hire trainee. since she neeeds to wait till six, and wants to work, so off we went. the trick made was ask bout the vacancy first and then ask bout the contacts....and WE GOT IT. yea.

came back at six, and the rest were gonna eat dinner at NANDO'S at parade. and i just cam e back from there, so i passed. in the end, where did i end up, with yuanliang, huey ying and alvin, not to mention kacau alvin from 11 to around 2am. and we are going one utama like soon. just woke up and haven bath...yes yes..smelly smeellly...


it was fun to hang out with classmates...not to mention the outstation students were great. huey ying, yuan liang, alvin, i LOVVEE you guys sooo much and not to forget shu xian, yap, sam, and deareat SUUEE ANNN. and yes, i will consider staying over at your place since there is nothing left for me here at my place. apparently, you guys are great. i know i mentioned this a lot of times but really i find it so grateful for me to have met this bunch of frens. i really appreciate the times we shared together and especially everytime when i am down. feeling sad, yuan liang, we would be the first to listen to me, then huey ying, next to console and support me. and nonetheless, alvin, my punching bag??? well, not really but at least you allow me to disturb you and kacau you at your place!!! thanks so much. you never treated me as foreigner, an outsider and i am so thankful for that since lately i tot myself, is it because i am not a malaysian, an outsider, a foreigner different from you guys, that i get treated differently?? less trusted? less depended? and worse less cared and loved and concerned??

i cant help myself from thinking those things since it really hurts me at times where people treat me sooooo differently from the rest. not to mention less concerned and loved by the one you know for a very long time. i guess people change at times. when new one comes, the old ones are forgotten. that is why again, i say i never believe and hated the quote that means like the longer you know the person the good frens you are. and i find that totally crap....well at least for me cos what i am facing is totally the opposite, and maybe that is why i am saying that. but watever it is, i definitely will remember my OLD and NEW frens.

so yea, broke the record of coming back home, 2am plus. everyone is asleep which was shocking to me. yes defeinitely and shocking . din wanted to come back cos it was late but alvins fren needed to study and of course we dun wanna bug him.

of all the negative things that i had, exams and crappy emotions, there is always the bright side, i still have my oustation classmates and other g15 mates to hang on here in subang. and you (3), you were right, strength is found from frens, the people whom you have known, who loves and cares bout you physically and emotionally, no matter where you come from. and that includes you too, plus you (1) and you(2)

gonna bath and off to one utama....then accounts!!!

BIOLOGY.....

just had my bio finals this morning. and how was it, definitely, easier than MATHS. but i conclude i HATE ecosystem. all the question from that theme, just hentam la. and yea, i din wake up late this time, but jac din. apparently din get enough sleep last nite, couldnt sleep...want to sleep, but now raining, dun wanna run back so stuck at web again

of people around me, well sometimes i just dun wanna talk about it. too troublesome to talk about it. some just annoys me, some just hurt me and worse, some just ignore me. forget it....

more and more plans after finals....go genitng, pangkor, out shopping, sure pokai la if attend each and evryone. but janji happy rite? kinda hard at times, cos you have to make sacrifices...like going with your classmates or old buddies, going to a place where its fun or going to a place where you have never been to but cant guarantee its worth the money you are paying. got phenomenon again.....well, lets just dun talkabout that, now its still on, so people whoever wanna go, GO. its not a good subject for me to talk about.

and the rain has stopped. so da da......

still that negative emotions

right now,i am freezing, sitting right under the air con at the web

suppose to be studying but i have no mood for that and i think you must have guessed it, emotions are overtaking me. i know mrs lim, once said, do not let feelings conquer you. still working on that

right in paragraphs after some frens told me to do. hard to read, but now hard for me to type maybe because i write extremely long posts and have to enter enter enter all the time. buts its ok.....i will take that hardship.....

still not at the positive state of mind.....of future, studies, event problems and worse of all friends...old buddies....it just hurts me...making me think back of my olden days and the 'what if' thinking

i thought of the times i was admitted in the hospital, given the iv drip, or to be more exact, the times when the nurse couldn find any successful vein and me being poke around 5 times in the span of 5 minutes. right now, am thinking of lionel and his gruesome feeling of needle.....and again, i tot wat if i was in the hospital now, and having finals, which means i have to get out from hopsital to sit for my test and the iv drip has to be stopped. and when i get back, i am gonna suffer pain!!! actually i already experienced that when i had to go for xray and ultrasound. stop the iv drip, came back, continue the iv drip, but the channel was blocked because of the blood clot. and so the nurse had to none other inject heparin to clear the channel. and boy, that feeling of injection, the pressure just freaks me out NOW...geli nya....ok, over with this, before lionel if he reads, will kill me for writing in so much detail.

given this second chance, its a blessing. but i find it really hard.....harder than before. tougher than ever, mor challenges and problems to face and that inner strength is losing it and is weaker than ever.

you(1) told me to just forget bout everything and try to ignore it, just tahan tahan and tahan. live each day with wat you have and just try to leave the rest behind....cos eventually i am not the only one experiencing this and that you are too.....am trying ok?

you (2) told me that there are tonnes and tonnes of people who are in a much worse situation and are less fortunate. i know that but if that is always the thinking, it will never ever solve your troubles but rather giving an excuse for it to happen. welll, at least thats how i think

and lastly, you (3) told me to hang on, and just live each day to the fullest with wat you have. no will and strength is not the reason as the strength can be found within you and around you. your frens, is the source. this i have to say its true but wat if they are all gone??? family.....is very important.....

done with my post this time, and again, i must say, another moody post by me. moving on to the happy stuff....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GILBERT!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHU XIAN!!!
wish you all have fun on this very special occasion of yours.

and not to mention, i have a couple of songs stuck in my head....courtesy of joanne....and since i love some of the lyrics,i shall post them up for my future reference.....well, that only comes after my sam finals....and talking bout that, so unfair!!! most people finish next week..sob sob sob....
till then

maths mati

so you've definitely guessed it how maths went....die die die, mati, wat else, dunno what to comment already...so dead la...everyone else came out, i mean we lodgians, met after that to have brunch and we were all like why so hard one....and its definite already that even years are always hard like 2004...first priniciple din even come out, economic model came out, damn ero was crap fo rme, din do, and i dunno la, so different the paper. we got our college mag, and so memalukan, my intervieww is in......din use my initial somemore but my name...so unfair, takeshi, so gonna kill you man, others you use initials mine put my name...errrr.....and then went to old town kopitiam...still depressed with our maths...but wat to do, which makes me and jac end up here in the web to blog bout it. worse of all, i din get an email to collect my cert....so i no cert???? thats crap too la, i got join clubs you know, but they never say i go get....cause jacq got the email....and we both join the same club with me extra chraity and welfare....make my day feel even worse. with the messy english and damn sucky maths, chance for me going into nus is like surge model, had quite a hope for me to enter and nbo more....c liao la....have to do well in my other 3 papers. and so unfaair i guess, by the time finish chem, joanne, jac, diana, ivan, sime can holiday and laugh at me, amy, and the rest cos still got spec maths and accounts....apa la.....so not in the mood to do anything.....and yea, change the layout of my blog but not much difference, still black and am stuck in the web cos its raining....going to run home without an umbrella

FINALS!!

just had our first paper and guess where i am now?? in the web, blogging...suppose to be studying but ended up here, joanne too! anyway, had out first paper esl..i guess i panicked and now i am scared not of not that i din finish my paper but my messy script book. seriously...it is sooo messy that i am afraid the examiner wont mark it. really messy...but oh well, nothing i can do to change it. just pray that the examiners will mark. so next exam is on thurs for me....maths... jacq, diana, gilbert, ivan and simon plus chang mei has physics tomorrow. tonite still going rcia, but alone, jo needs to study legals and of course jac for physics.

and yeh, weekend, saturday, guessed another outing with my sis which always always ends up with a fight or rather fights....but after every fights i dunno bout you sis, but for me, i think our bonds get closer and sth to ponder. not that i like fights ok? well, this stuff only me and my sis will understand. and went to sunway lagoon. dry park, din play all cos not the right time for me actually, and also two of the rides i wanna go is close!!! went off to watch movie, diva popular, yes yes, bm local movvie...there was nth else to watch ok??? and i support all of the malaysian local movies, too bad cinta was not played at sunway. kinda funny although the story was just a normal competition between divas.

ok gotta end here...chatting, emailing and checking out some stuff....so till then....and listed is my exam time table plus the rest

today 6 - esl
tomorrow 7 - physics
thursday 9 - maths
friday 10 - legals
monday 13 - bio
tuesday 14 - econs
wed 15 - chem, it
fri 17 - spec maths
tues 21 - accounts

and i like my time table very much but too bad, see, accounts is last, only chang mei me and amy taking the paper and eveyrthing is over!!

STUDY? THINK? a remainder for myself!!

wanted to blog yesterday but then raining, stuck at home. so yesterday, wasnt a good day for me, well, last last nite, which means wed nite, wanted to sleep early cos thursday, yesterday got maths mock test at 7am. mana tahu, everyone sleeping late. so i sleep first lo. then everyone in room, i am not an easy sleeper. so you guessed it, woke up half way. but wats worse i was out of breath. shortness of breath that i had two years ago just conquer my body again. felt hot in the room, dunno whther its because of the 'many'people in it, but i certainly couldn have a normal breath. so i got up and tried to catch my breath. and this i would have to write it down so in future when i read, i will remember it. when this kind of things happened:

1. always get up....was lying in bed and couldnt breathe properly, so must get up and sit up straight, breath slowly
2. always tell those near you wat happened, evernthough it may be hard to speak cos of lack of o2...at least ask them fetch the water for you.. like that nite, i just sat on my bed quietly and none was asking how was i. maybe they tot i angry or sth....but i wasnt
3. always always go out of the room, to get some fresh air....like last nite, just sat on the bed, no fresh air to grasp pun, cos i was lazy to walk out to the balcony area....in the end, go out baru feel ok....
4. drink lots and lotsa water...just prepare bottles of water la

in the end, i slept like around 2 plus, dunno who snoring also. hehehe....not like i can sleep if no snoring anyway.....cos i was still short of breath...then had to wake up early for the math mock...not compulsory but i just wanna go despite the few hours of sleep....paper was kinda tough....well, my mind wasnt really clear. oh well....

sometimes i wonder how it is really like to stay alone...i mean really alone, individaul rooms with all new housemates...i mean definitely the experience is different. you get to meet new frens and really be a loner in the room. staying with frens also not that bad..at least they are your frens since school time..and when need help they for sure lend you a hand. but i just wonder how i was if i chose not to stay with edine them and get a place on my own...i really am looking forward to that next time cos evnetually we all wont be going to the same uni and definitely you cant always have your bunch of fren with you all the time... well, not like i dun feel lonely now...i do, even though physically theres people around, but if you are alone in the room, while others are gathered in another place, laughing or studying together, isnt it the same as having a room all by yourself...when there are actiivties to do, you are never the first one to get invited but rather knowing it later from another person join them happily together. it just hurts at time when this happens like feeling out of place, left out not knowing wats going on between everyone and their latest updates, especially when you go to the same college but dun live together in the same apartment but same area. you tot they knew you and you knew them....i should rephrase that. maybe i tot i knew my people, my people means those i know la, not literally MY people ok? i dun own anyone...so i tot i knew them and they knew who you are, but i guess i was wrong. no one is always right about their companion, roommate, housemate, frens, buddies, special fren and even long time frens. and of course everyone wishes to be known, understood, cared and invited. so i conclude that it all depends on each individual,...some just can click together, special close frens, like they were matched and meant for each other like the bio enzyme model, induced fit model, the enzyme specific for each substrate..some just become normal frens, hi, HI, bye, BYE or some just know by face...it depends on luck and how you yourself give the response or feedback. i know i said all this before, friendship, companionship, loneliness, and also mentioned bout how friendship is so like a relationship...i guess this is just wat happens in our daily life and separation is always happening everyday, no matter its physically or mentally separated from the other part. i am not in my ups right now, rather in my lows since final is gonna start, sam is gonna end, means, my g15 will be over, and i hope that bunch of lovely classmates, i wont get to meet them everyday like before, and also at the apartment....no more staying together.....but that one, nothing much i guess since still can meet in kuching, plus not so 'fitting'...crap, i feel so horrible...now this is wat happens to me, when i dun study!!!! not studying, think think think and think somemore, come out this situation... geramnya aku on myself....

last but not least, goodbye to kl, next year hi again to kuching, back home with my parents and the small peaceful slow town. i dunno whether i like it or not eventhough before that i dread of going back home....its like everytime i am in kuching i always stay at home, rarely went out. and i know next year, its gonna be a hibernating period for me, i hope actually, want to get part time job...so yea, people, frens, those of needs someone help, tell me yea?? and that only can happen, if and only if i manage to settle all the stupid immigration and visa problems....annoying nya.....oh well, life's always like that. just got to take things one step at a time.

reaching end of year, everyone got test and exam then hols. us sam, starting 6 nov ends 21nov or earlier depending on wat subjects...by then trinity just start. after trinity, edines adp turn. perth and adelaide all sometime soon, finish earlier. and by 2nd week of dec, everyone is done....back again in kuching. hope to meet all of you guys ya? trinities most going back same week as me, one or two days after me....how bout the rest??? besides perth, nz??

so now, after lunch, at web, blogging,. went to check out the venus for our final exams. and also asked the office when roughly our certs are gonna be here. cos if we dun get it by ourself, we have to pay for the postal fee so i guess since 26 dec they are open, i am coming to get it myself.... after this, really have to study, START studying bio since i slept till 10 plus just now,...hehehe...tomorrow going sunway with my sis and colleagues, have fun with them at sunway lagoon plus their office team building programme.....so gotta sort of my stuff. will post more pix when i am done with my exams......my g15 classmates, probably my prom going on after that too. and ya, trinities...have fun for your prom tonite